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  • Ren Behan

To Characterize Colorado...

I've lived in Colorado my whole life. In fact, I lived in the same exact house from the day of my birth until society officially deemed I was a full-fledged adult (even if brain chemistry said otherwise). While there are many things I adore about this state, there are plenty of things that simply irk me.


I like to imagine that Colorado is sentient – more specifically, that she is a person who has a sick sense of humor.




Gorgious view from one of my favorite spots in Mueller state park.

No one can deny Colorado's beauty; perhaps that is why she is so vain. Just as the prissy girl sitting at the popular table, Colorado is very much aware of herself. She's learned that her glorious mountain range and photogenic sunsets are unique to her, and that we will always love her for them. Unfortunately, Colorado enjoys tormenting her admirers; the seasons are not really balanced or consistent, and neither are they comfortable – excepting fall, of course, which happens to be the shortest season of them all. No, Colorado much prefers to watch us writhe on the sizzling pavement or shiver out curses to mother nature as we clear snow off our cars.


Before all you Minnesotans and Michiganders scoff at me, understand that I will not deny that our snowstorms are rather puny when compared to yours. I will say, however, that Colorado loves ice, and she loves coating everything in it at the worst possible time:


"Are you on your way to class? Is it final's day? Oh…well, hope you can make it before the ice storm traps you there. Good luck!"


"Is that a new car? Nice…Do you know what will make it look great? Hail. You're welcome."


"Guess what I did? Surprise – BLACK ICE!"


"I know you had to cancel your recital and all, but, I couldn't help myself; I really wanted a late Christmas."


And if that wasn't enough, before we can acclimate, we'll have a brief spring before she sets us on fire in the summer. But it isn't all bad: after the flames thoroughly roast us, she'll kindly drop more hail and sometimes, even snow:


"Oh, I'm sorry…was it too hot this morning? Have some hail. I made these really big just for you."


"Oh…it's June? Huh. Well, considering yesterday's temperatures, I'm doing you a favor. You're welcome."


But even when she is being absolutely terrible, she is still amazing. We always forgive her.

In Colorado Springs, the rays of the sunset will bounce off the back of Pikes Peak and ignite the clouds with sparks of orange. In Castle Rock, the sun will rise in a blaze of gold light as the sky greets it with aquamarine hues.


Every morning and every evening, we are reminded of just how perfectly Colorado she is.


I love mornings in Castle Rock.

We appreciate the views, the nature, and even the rats with hooves (A.K.A deer – they are EVERYWHERE). And even when we are blindsided by a bear late at night and the sense that we are about to die rushes our veins, we will thank her for having gifted us the somewhat terrifying experience.


I love this state and all her beautifully annoying quirks.

© Ren Behan, 2019

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